


Our Darkest Desires

by sithseternal



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Lives, Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, F/M, Force-Sensitive Reader, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Ahsoka Tano, Reader-Insert, Skywalkers Stop Bullying C-3PO Challenge, Space Mom Leia Organa, This is Incredibly Self Indulgent I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:15:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29796600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sithseternal/pseuds/sithseternal
Summary: As Ahsoka Tano’s pupil, you’ve been studying the ways of the Force in secret as well as assisting General Leia Organa’s Resistance in their fight against the First Order. When your first real mission goes awry, you fall into the clutches of Kylo Ren, who offers you an alternative to the brutal punishment the First Order has in store for you: become his apprentice and help him bring the galaxy to its knees. Before long, the pull of the dark side is too powerful for you to resist, and you find yourself succumbing to all your darkest desires.(Please read the beginning author's notes before starting! I know they're long; I'm sorry!)
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Reader, Ahsoka Tano & You, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 1





	Our Darkest Desires

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my very first fic! Wow! Amazing! I really hope you guys enjoy it. I’ve been reading Kylo fic for a while now but recently I got the urge to take a stab at it myself! I’m a little out of practice when it comes to writing things just for fun, but I’ve loved literature since I was really little, so I decided I could try putting my writing skills to the test. Coincidentally, I’m in college for writing as I post this, so I apologize if updates are slow. I may have gotten in over my head with this little project, but I'll do my best to see it through!  
> I’m going to try to keep the story as canon compliant as possible, but my Star Wars knowledge isn’t perfect, so bear with me if I get something wrong! I picture it beginning a couple of years before The Force Awakens and ending just a few months before it. Since it hasn’t been disproved in canon yet, Ahsoka is alive (obviously, because she’s my favorite character other than Kylo and there was literally no other choice for reader’s Force mentor) and working with the Resistance because I think she would definitely bring Fulcrum back to fight the First Order. Also, other characters in the story will refer to both Ahsoka and the reader character as "Fulcrum" because in the days of the Rebellion the name was taken by multiple rebel spies/informants and I thought it would make sense for the same thing to apply here. I thought about giving reader another codename, but I think she'd just use Fulcrum too.  
> Oh, and one more thing. The rating is going to change and the tags will be updated because, yes, I am going to attempt smut later. The whole point of this fic is that I’m living out my fantasies of living in the Star Wars galaxy, but also of getting railed by Kylo Ren, so...  
> It’s going to be a long, torturous slow burn, but that’s where we’re headed.  
> Enjoy!

Early morning sunlight shone through the towering jungle trees of D’Qar, blinding you as you stepped out of the shade of the Resistance’s underground command center. Shielding your eyes, you looked around for your master, Ahsoka Tano, who’d told you to join her for tea once you were ready for the day. Among the commotion of shuffling bodies going about their daily activities on the base’s surface, you spotted her sitting at a makeshift table of crates. Her montrals, with their blue and white pattern that sharply contrasted the endless green of D’Qar’s landscape, were impossible to miss.

“Good morning!” she called as you sauntered up to her.

“G’morning,” you muttered, rubbing sleep from your still-heavy eyes.

Unlike Ahsoka, you still couldn’t make yourself a morning person, even after years of early rising for training, traveling, and other predicaments. She sometimes teased you lightly about it.

“So, today’s the day!” she beamed as you sat down. “Your first real mission. How are you feeling?”

“I feel good, I guess. As good as one can feel about this sort of thing.”

“Here, drink it while it’s still warm,” Ahsoka urged, sliding a cup of Deychin tea over to you.

“Thank you, master,” you responded eagerly.

_Thank you, master._

How many times had you said those words?

Your gratitude to Ahsoka was beyond what words could express. She’d found you in your hour of greatest need, when you were young, scared, and alone with nothing but your uncontrolled Force abilities to guide you. She’d been reluctant to train you; you knew this. You didn’t push Ahsoka to tell you more about her past than she was comfortable with, but you knew enough about what she’d gone through to understand her hesitancy to take on an apprentice. And yet, even in your helpless state, she’d seen potential in you. Thanks to her, you’d been given a second chance, and now you were a part of something bigger. 

You stared down into the teacup, wrapping your hands around it for warmth and letting the steam skim your face before taking a sip. The familiar taste, sweet and slightly floral, comforted you. Ahsoka made it for the two of you often; it reminded you of your time together.

“So, we’re smuggling highly sensitive information for the Resistance now. Feels like just yesterday we decided to help them out, and they’ve already got us doing the dangerous stuff,” you remarked. “Next week they’ll probably have me march right up to Supreme Leader Snoke and challenge him to a lightsaber duel.”

This prompted a small laugh from Ahsoka. Her cheeks puffed and her lips pinched together as she tried not to spit out her tea.

“I suppose they can’t afford to waste much time when the galaxy is in the hands of the Empire reincarnated,” she said playfully.

She paused for a moment, and her azure eyes darkened, clouded by some silent haunting of the past. The older Togruta woman’s face had accumulated some lines over the years, and they became especially pronounced as she frowned into her teacup.

“I never thought I’d be going by Fulcrum again. It’s been so many years since I took the name the first time. The galaxy was suffering then, too. I sometimes wonder if it will ever really end. I wonder if any of this will make a difference, or if once we vanquish one threat another one will show up to take its place again in a few decades.”

You drummed your fingers softly against the table, considering her words. You were unsure how to respond, a bit taken aback by her pessimism. You took another sip of your tea as an excuse to stay silent. 

“I’m sorry, I know that’s not what you needed to hear this morning. Let’s go do some meditation. I think it’ll help clear your head.”

She stood quickly, pushing back the crate she’d been sitting on. Reluctantly, you placed your teacup, which wasn’t yet empty, back on its saucer, and strolled along at your teacher’s heels.

Ahsoka led you away from the base and deeper into the forest until the only sounds around you were humming insects and leaves rustling in the slight morning breeze. She finally came to a stop next to a large stone covered in moss, resting her hand on it as she inhaled deeply. 

“What a perfect day,” she sighed, seating herself on the ground. “I picked the most relaxing spot I could think of. I figured it was much needed.”

You let the sun warm your face for just a moment longer before joining Ahsoka in your favorite meditation position: legs crossed and hands resting on your knees, palms facing toward the sky as she had taught you so many years ago. Your mentor was silent, allowing you to relax and focus on your breathing as you opened yourself up to the Force. With your mind quiet, you were able to feel the connection between yourself and all of the living things on D’Qar with astonishing clarity. It was as if the planet itself was speaking to you, and you listened intently, letting the Force surround you with its wisdom.

After a few minutes, Ahsoka’s voice gently reached out to you.

“What do you feel?” she asked.

“I feel life, movement, energy. On the base, the whole planet. It’s especially active today, like everyone and everything is waiting for something.”

“What else?”

“Of course there’s tranquility as well. It’s in the trees and the mountains and valleys. It’s nice. It creates balance.”

“Good. Look at the bigger picture now. Do you feel anything else?”

You reached out even farther, waiting to see if the Force would show you anything more. Your answer came in the form of a feeling of dread, a dark cloud that loomed over you with crushing malice.

“There’s… unrest. Fear, spreading across the galaxy. The First Order is getting stronger, and people are unsure of what comes next,” you murmured.

Ahsoka sighed. Her breath was somber; it had a melancholy note to it.

“I feel it, too.”

She then retreated back into her meditation, thinking deeply. You did the same, and you weren’t sure quite how much time passed before Ahsoka spoke again.

“Well, I think that’s all for now,” she remarked, slowly rising to her feet. She stretched her arms high above her head, and you followed suit. “The general will be arriving to give you your briefing any minute now.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach.

“The general… you don’t mean General Organa,” you sputtered.

Ahsoka looked at you with kind eyes, smiling softly.

“I know it’s a lot of pressure, but I’ll be here guiding you through the entire mission, and you have the Force on your side. You’ve trained for this. You’re ready, I promise you.”

Despite her reassuring words, you could feel your confidence plummeting by the second. Somehow, the fact that General Leia Organa herself would be briefing you made the stakes feel so much higher. 

So the leader of the Resistance considered your success important enough to see to it personally. Just how serious was this mission?

“Come on. Leia’s probably very excited to meet you. I want us to be there to greet her when she arrives,” Ahsoka mused, gesturing for you to walk with her.

“Yeah, right! General Organa, excited to meet _me_? As if I’m not thanking the Force for the opportunity to just be in her presence,” you laughed as you fell into step. The two of you walked leisurely back to the encampment, taking the time to enjoy the scenery on your way. When you arrived at the edge of the forest, a young redheaded woman jogged up to you. You recognized her as the lieutenant that had shown you around the base when you’d arrived on D’Qar. 

“Hello, agents! Good morning!” she exclaimed, her freckled face slightly flushed. “The general will be arriving shortly. If you’d kindly follow me, I’ll take you right to the landing site.”

You exchanged a quick glance of amusement with Ahsoka. The lieutenant, whose name was Eri if you remembered correctly, had to have been recently promoted; she handled her duties with far too much fervor to suggest otherwise. She even walked with enthusiasm, taking off in front of you like she’d collapse if her feet stayed on the ground for too long. She led you along the side of the base past a row of X-Wings, some of which were manned by orange-clad pilots preparing for test flights. 

“So, how’s life on D’Qar treating you so far?” Eri asked in a silvery voice.

“We’re doing pretty well! We’ve gotten some good training in,” you said.

“I’m glad to have a safe place to operate from. We move around so much,” Ahsoka added.

Eri eventually came to an abrupt stop at a clearing and pivoted around on her heel. She let out an exasperated huff, blowing a curly red lock out of her face.

“Well, I’m afraid I have to leave you here. Duty calls,” she said, and then turned to you. “Best of luck on your mission. Be careful out there!”

With a small wave, Eri was gone, dashing back across the base before you could even thank her or say goodbye. All that remained now was the wait for General Organa’s arrival. Bouncing on your toes, you stared high above the thick canopy of the forest, eagerly awaiting the sight of her transport in the sky. You wiped your palms off on your pants and began fidgeting with a zipper on your jacket to occupy your hands. Ahsoka, sensing your restlessness, laid a warm hand on your shoulder.

“Relax, my apprentice. You’ve got this,” she said.

Your throat felt too dry to respond, so you merely nodded, keeping your gaze fixed to the cloudless sky. After a few seconds that felt like an entire rotation, a Resistance transport ship appeared above you, emerging from hyperspace to begin its descent into D’Qar’s atmosphere. 

Your heart rate sped up a little. You tried to be patient as you watched the general’s transport dip closer to the horizon, but nerves were quickly overcoming you. Seeking a distraction, you turned to your master, who had also been watching the sky with her lips quirked in a slight smile.

“I wasn’t supposed to bring anything, right? I know it’s gonna be a stealth mission, so I just brought my lightsaber, and I’ve got that hidden in my jacket,” you whispered.

“Yes, that should do fine,” Ahsoka grinned.

“Mhm, and do you think there’ll be anything I can use to take notes during the briefing? I feel like I tend to forget things, you know.”

“The briefing will be recorded, and the most important information will probably also be logged in your ship. Trust me, it’s going to be alright.”

“I know, I know.”

The sound of engines grew to a deafening roar in your ears. The transport had made its way to the clearing now, stirring up a wind that shook the trees and threw leaves into your hair as it sank toward the ground. The ship’s landing gear popped out and set its wide body down just a few meters in front of you. 

The hatch opened with a hiss; you scanned through a small cluster of troops that scurried out of the cabin for General Organa before finally spotting her petite form in the back of the bunch, sporting a dark red dress and an elaborate braided hairstyle that you suspected originated from Alderaan, the planet she’d once called home. The general made her way over to you and Ahsoka in elegant strides, parting the commotion around her. Behind her trailed a protocol droid with golden plating and a peculiar red arm. When they reached you, Leia gave you a deep, respectful nod.

“Oh, hello!” the protocol droid began. “I am C-3PO, human-cyborg rela-“

“They get it, threepio,” Leia interrupted. “Seriously, you don’t have to do that every time.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing. 

“Good to see you, agents Fulcrum. Thank you for agreeing to help our cause,” she said, extending a hand to your teacher. “I’m glad to finally meet you in person, Ahsoka. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

Ahsoka’s eyes glimmered as she took Leia’s hand.

“As have I,” she beamed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! I love all of you so much and I'm so excited to share this story with you. Please let me know what you think through comments and kudos! It would mean the world to me. I'm hoping to start chapter 2 very soon after I post this, so be sure to keep an eye out for updates! As I said in the beginning notes, I am in college right now, so updates may be slower than I'd like, but I'm very eager to start writing Kylo so I'm sure we'll be moving right along soon. I didn't want him to show up right away, but I won't keep you waiting long! All in good time...  
> Until next chapter, may the Force be with you!


End file.
